the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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