Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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