is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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