Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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