the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
