New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
