Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
