you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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