you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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