i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
