We're like a lot better than the average bears
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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