he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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