My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
