I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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