You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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