I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have tasted many bathrooms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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