i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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