You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
