Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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