is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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