Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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