I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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