you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
