why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am midnight drunk by noon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
