we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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