I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize