did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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