just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
