I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
