This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
