so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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