Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
