Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
