Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
