I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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