yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
