I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
