Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.