I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
