was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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