I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
