You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize