I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
