I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
