don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
