why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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