I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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