I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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