remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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