I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
