i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
