I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
