Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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