Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
