I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
