Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
