Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
