I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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