Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
