dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
