He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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