I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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