Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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